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I have no idea why am I doing this to myself all over again.
Like a never ending repetitive life.
Telling myself
‘You deserve better. deserve to be treated better after all you have been true’
‘Time to change and be selfish and mature’
But yet I still let myself be bothered by small things, being paranoid and refusing to open my mouth to say it due to knowing it’s my damn fault to start with.
I found someone who is better, treat me the best. Tried every way to make things right for me. However, i’m still the old stubborn me that somehow is hard to change.
It is not as if he isn’t always reassuring me about it, so why am I always still so bothered about it? I promised and tried my best not to be jealous. But it’s so hard to change or mask it.
It is not as if he isn’t trying to accommodate me by suiting me as well, so why am I always trying to be selfless and rejecting the offer when all I want is that actually?
Why am I stuck in this repetitive behaviour?
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